Riding the wagon once again

Hello my loyal followers (hahaha, OK me and maybe my mother)

I GOT THE POWER...(insert weight lifter grunt...cause I can't spell it, haha)

I won!! Well, sort of. The laundry baskets as well as the clothes in them are put away and not by me, so that is a win. I did however, have to go a little postal and got the deer in the headlight looks. Can you believe that? They looked at me like baskets? What baskets do you refer to old woman? Well not only are the baskets tucked away they had to clean the rest of the house while the old woman went out and took some pictures. Pay back's a bitch.

And I, my friends, am the Grand Marshall of the bitch parade!!

I wish you all a very successful and happy week. With the nice weather finally here and the windows now officially open, let's start hearing from some of you with your secret dreams. Let's see if we can make them happen. I didn't get my column as of yet, like I've stated a few hundred times, however, my pictures are in full swing and I will be doing stuff with them. Happiness starts with us and expressing what we need to make it happen.

Love to all

;0)

I didn't fall....I was pushed off the wagon

I know I posted that I wasn't going to hold grudges, etc, blah, blah, blah but I was weak at that moment and forgot how much my family annoys me. So a little note to my family........

Dear Family,

HELLO does anyone but me see the freaking laundry baskets in the freaking (no that isn't the word I really mean) hallway??? They are the ones in front of your bedroom doors with all the clean clothes in them. Kudo's to Kevin for bringing them up one flight after I did the other 2 and my mother helped me fold it.

I know you see it as you have all been digging through it for clothes to wear and now the nicely folded clothes are a mess. While I'm at it how about picking up the dirty ones in your room and would you all please stop putting that one dish in the sink right after I finished cleaning the kitchen!!!

This may sound like well at least they put it in the sink, but NOOOOO it sat in their rooms for God knows how long and when they heard the water running thought oh good if I sneak this one in maybe she will wash this one too and not realize it was in my room. Yeah I noticed the science project growing in your room but was too disgusted to attempt to touch it.

Oh and one more thing dear ones, STOP, I repeat, STOP putting empty containers back into the refrigerator!!!!!!!! Throw the thing away and yes we do have stuff to eat, you just don't like it (this week). Let me not forget the garbage no matter what Hefty says there really is only so much that can fit in one bag, so please stop playing hang on Harvey with the trash and replace the bag when it's full. Now to all you mother's out there laughing saying is she kidding me, does she really think this will happen? Of course I don't but in keeping with my new positive attitude in order not to go postal on them this weekend, I'm simply posting my grievances as stated in my last blog (if you don't say what bothers you, it cannot change and you should allow the person/people the opportunity to rectify their wrong doing). No this isn't news to them but the I'm sorry the baskets of laundry is where I am taking my stand, they will stay there for the rest of my life and the clothes being worn from them will NEVER do you hear me NEVER get washed again.

Oh and Cali, my dog and faithful companion, would you please get out of my way. Yes that includes when I get out of the shower and you insist on sitting in front of the door and blocking my path; only to be followed up by racing me to the basement door and down the stairs so I can bring my dirty clothes; actually every time I use any stairs please stop waiting for me to get halfway down so you can now have this burst of energy knock me out of you way so you can win the race; the middle of the night when I am getting up to pee, which happens every few minutes so you would think you would know by now to move and finally stop nugging me that big wet nose of yours when I finally do fall asleep to remind me that you are still there or to be pet. I know you are there I kill myself trying to climb over to go to the bathroom, REMEMBER.

Have a wonderful sunshine day!

Your loving,

Wife (Bill) and Mother (the rest of you)

OK, trying to catch the wagon so I can jump back on but it is gaining momentum away from me and these old legs don't run that fast. I will try though after all I put it out there no more grudges and the forgiveness tool is in the belt. I can't find the belt right now because I threw it out the window on my blinding anger but calm now and I will go look for it.

Carry on

Spring has sprung...time for another tool in my tool belt

Yes spring has indeed sprung woo who. I am happy to report that the blog has inspired someone into not only starting their own blog but a new business as well. This made me so happy and in keeping with the whole idea of this blog being one of one hand helping the other. I would love it for all my readers to check out Beauty Brilliance. I will try to get a direct link onto an upcoming posting. So lets all give a great big boo ya to my girl, Lorraine.

Although I haven't received my own success in receiving a column the fact that someone is moving forward brings a new hope. I haven't tried again to get the column, I haven't revamped what we spoke about and I haven't contacted them with some of my other ideas. They showed interest and I am responsible solely for dropping the ball. I say this only to take responsibility for my part in why I am now column stagnant. I am disappointed however I am not crushed or defeated. I have made progress in other areas of my life and I have picked up my neglected camera and that always puts things into perspective..

I have been taking a real hard look at myself in order to do my best to find self truth and I have discovered my tool that I will be putting in my fictitious tool belt. Forgiveness this might be the toughest tool of all. I realized that harboring grudges toward people are not only pointless but weigh me down with unneeded burdens. Carrying a grudge truly serves no purpose in my life and I know it is truly time to let any and all grudges go. As of this writing I am angry with no one and I have to say I feel a freedom I haven't felt in some time. During my discovery I realized that I too have hurt people in my life and whether it be long ago or recently I know it was not intentional and therefore have to give others the same benefit of the doubt and say maybe they didn't mean it either. If they did then really are they worth the burden it brings to my life? I honestly don't think so; actually I know they are not based on the release the forgiveness has brought to my life. Having said that I would have to say in all honesty when I chose to speak ill of someone that was not unintentional hurt and I'm sure that that is not the only unintentional hurt that I have caused. Most of it was from immaturity and thankfully I have grown so I have to think those that have hurt me in that manner have grown with age too.

I figure what better time to let it go then spring. As I look around at all the beauty and new growth that springtime brings I just want to embrace it and keep that feeling. Corny I know, but honestly it feels really good, good like the tranquility of walking through a garden in the sunshine. You know that peace you feel when you do that, that is how I feel...honestly.

I know this tool is the hardest tool of all; not only to come to pass but to endure. If you are alive and speak to people they are going to piss you off but my thinking is if it is bad enough that I feel I can't let it go shouldn't I give the person the benefit of conversation? Aren't we both worth knowing their actions or words upset me. If I don't say anything than I do not have the right to be mad or upset. After all how can they or I make immense with someone if they don't tell me I was hurtful to them or they to me? Basically, all I am saying is people make mistakes some worse than others but it is up to us to decide if it is a cut through the heart hurt or just a stupid moment in time. How many times have you either said or heard I can't even remember what I am mad at? I know I have thought it and I know I have heard it. If that is the case how bad could it have been? The cut through the heart hurt to me is even more important to try and forgive so that it can be released because those are the ones that stifles the one that was hurt. It is all you can think about, it makes you bitter, might make you doubt yourself whatever the feeling I can assure you it isn't anything positive. So why bring it with you, put it down and leave it there. It is hard this I know but at its hardest point you need to look within yourself and ask yourself am I guilt free? Have I caused the deep pain to someone else? I don't think there is anyone out there that can say they have never hurt someone really bad.

I know I personally will fall off the forgiveness wagon, I know I will take part in the gossip train (I hate and yet I am guilty of participating) and I know I will also fall off the petty wagon as well. I pray that I jump back on and jump quickly if for no other reason than if I continue to look backward I cannot move forward. I would like to think that won't be my only reason for doing this, I would like to think that now that I am older I am a little wiser and have a better understanding of human nature and that people truly do make mistakes. I have forgiven and I have also released people that have added no value to my life and that I cannot add value to theirs. Am I angry with these people, not at all (really no joke, I am not), just smarter enough to know when it is time to say good bye. And basically that is just that; when you add no value and they add no value, if you cringe when they call maybe you shouldn't pretend to be their friend. They deserve better and so do you/I. If I add nothing to your life and you really don't want to hang out with me, don't really want talk to me, if I annoy you, then no hard feelings let me go.

I asked to be told how you view me and now I am asking to be told if I have hurt you, let me know. If I owe you an apology you will receive it and it will be genuine. If you cannot forgive it I will respect it.

Forgiveness put snugly into my tool belt and I am happy to have it there. At the very least posting it on here definitely will help keep me grounded because I now put it out there. ;)

Once again a huge round of applause to Lorraine and best wishes on her new venture. If anyone wants a facial, needs advice on good skin, beauty products, what clothes works best for their body whatever, I have the girl for you. Congratulations my little sideliner you are officially now a lifeliner.