In this pledge for self improvement it occurred to me that lipstick may not possess enough power on it's own. I think I may need more tools than just that. I am not doubting the power of the lipstick (cough, cough) and although I'm sure these women of a certain age definitely have a point. In order to feel good, you must look good. I get it and there is truth in that. When you feel good about a certain outfit, hairstyle whatever you do seem to have more confidence that day or a little skip in your step. See I really did get it. It just isn't enough.
Therefore, I am mulling over what other tools will be needed in order to move forward and what occurred to me this morning was honesty is crucial. Not honesty toward others (although that would be nice) I am referring here to honesty on who we really are. Yes folks that is what I mean, not what we want to believe but the actual what we put out there who we really are. No excuses, no sugar coating the whole enchilada of what and who we are. Scary yes so only enter if you dare hear your ugly truth. (Opens door ever so slightly, peeks head into what appears to be very dark room. Standing here scared out of my mind what ugly truth awaits for me, I ask myself , "Do I dare enter?"
I was listening to someones version on who they are and holy shit, uh NO! This person saw them self as giving, low self esteem, truly self sacrificing. Oh my God, are you serious? Now if this person were to ask me (and all that know this person) how I (or the world at large) view this person, would I tell the truth? The truth, honest to God is that this person is a selfish bitch and very honestly an attention whore. You know the kind good or bad it doesn't matter as long as you are focused on this person. As long as honesty is the focus here then truth be told, this persons truth isn't really important in my growth but my own self truth, however, is. I included this only to give an example of why this tool is essential, not to focus on this person's self image.
How do I see myself in comparison to what other people see? Is it possible to move on without that knowledge? I honestly don't think so. I think we need to know truly how we are perceived by others. Truth hurts, this I know but if it makes me better, if it helps me obtain my goals and dreams isn't it worth hearing? I know in my heart I would have loved to tell this person how everyone I know reads them and it is nothing like they see but I won't. Makes me ask myself why not? OK, this person didn't ask for my opinion so I can take the coward way out and use that but had they, would I and would they really hear me anyway? NOPE to would I and can't say for sure without giving them the benefit of the truth if they would listen but it is doubtful.
I really do want to know what people feel about me but unless it is anonymous nobody is going to tell the truth. Question is how do you get the question out there anonymously? I can say if you read this please drop it in my mailbox, comment on here without leaving your name. Kind of setting myself up there to hear I'm a bitch in public but who the heck is actually reading this anyway? I know this will be the one that everyone reads and decides to comment on, just to let me know that I too am a selfish bitch. Actually if that is the case I really do want to know. Listening to that person really made me wonder, how far off we are from seeing ourselves to what is really there.
I really would like to do a study on this and have people write down how they view themselves and then have people that know them, write down (anonymously) how they see them. I'm not saying that what other people see are entirely accurate either but I would like to see if it is even close.
So this tool for my belt will be much harder then the lipstick as it isn't found in a store. I can ask the few I trust that I believe will tell me the truth and on occasion have; compare it to what I see. That is OK for a start but I need a two way mirror like they use when wanting an opinion on a product; only this will be about how I am perceived by others.
In accordance with my last post regarding a daily thank you note, today's note will be public.
I am grateful that I am open to hearing what people have to say in such an open forum as this. I am thankful that I am willing to change what needs to be changed and I am thankful for those that choose to partake in helping me with my growth. Go easy people, I'm open to it but still human and breathing so don't go for the jugular. ;)
isn't this a pretty font color for my thank you note, only a loving, kind, generous, self sacrificing person would think to use such a pretty font, NO? Haha...awaiting the truth.
Therefore, I am mulling over what other tools will be needed in order to move forward and what occurred to me this morning was honesty is crucial. Not honesty toward others (although that would be nice) I am referring here to honesty on who we really are. Yes folks that is what I mean, not what we want to believe but the actual what we put out there who we really are. No excuses, no sugar coating the whole enchilada of what and who we are. Scary yes so only enter if you dare hear your ugly truth. (Opens door ever so slightly, peeks head into what appears to be very dark room. Standing here scared out of my mind what ugly truth awaits for me, I ask myself , "Do I dare enter?"
I was listening to someones version on who they are and holy shit, uh NO! This person saw them self as giving, low self esteem, truly self sacrificing. Oh my God, are you serious? Now if this person were to ask me (and all that know this person) how I (or the world at large) view this person, would I tell the truth? The truth, honest to God is that this person is a selfish bitch and very honestly an attention whore. You know the kind good or bad it doesn't matter as long as you are focused on this person. As long as honesty is the focus here then truth be told, this persons truth isn't really important in my growth but my own self truth, however, is. I included this only to give an example of why this tool is essential, not to focus on this person's self image.
How do I see myself in comparison to what other people see? Is it possible to move on without that knowledge? I honestly don't think so. I think we need to know truly how we are perceived by others. Truth hurts, this I know but if it makes me better, if it helps me obtain my goals and dreams isn't it worth hearing? I know in my heart I would have loved to tell this person how everyone I know reads them and it is nothing like they see but I won't. Makes me ask myself why not? OK, this person didn't ask for my opinion so I can take the coward way out and use that but had they, would I and would they really hear me anyway? NOPE to would I and can't say for sure without giving them the benefit of the truth if they would listen but it is doubtful.I really do want to know what people feel about me but unless it is anonymous nobody is going to tell the truth. Question is how do you get the question out there anonymously? I can say if you read this please drop it in my mailbox, comment on here without leaving your name. Kind of setting myself up there to hear I'm a bitch in public but who the heck is actually reading this anyway? I know this will be the one that everyone reads and decides to comment on, just to let me know that I too am a selfish bitch. Actually if that is the case I really do want to know. Listening to that person really made me wonder, how far off we are from seeing ourselves to what is really there.
I really would like to do a study on this and have people write down how they view themselves and then have people that know them, write down (anonymously) how they see them. I'm not saying that what other people see are entirely accurate either but I would like to see if it is even close.
So this tool for my belt will be much harder then the lipstick as it isn't found in a store. I can ask the few I trust that I believe will tell me the truth and on occasion have; compare it to what I see. That is OK for a start but I need a two way mirror like they use when wanting an opinion on a product; only this will be about how I am perceived by others.
In accordance with my last post regarding a daily thank you note, today's note will be public.
I am grateful that I am open to hearing what people have to say in such an open forum as this. I am thankful that I am willing to change what needs to be changed and I am thankful for those that choose to partake in helping me with my growth. Go easy people, I'm open to it but still human and breathing so don't go for the jugular. ;)
isn't this a pretty font color for my thank you note, only a loving, kind, generous, self sacrificing person would think to use such a pretty font, NO? Haha...awaiting the truth.
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